Concentrating on the joyous

I am feeling better than I was when I ran away and stayed in a (quite nice, luxurious even) hotel room for 2 days by myself. It helped. I took a book on meditations and found some peace to read and reflect on them. I was able to bring the calm home and with some work can find a little bit of calm every day. DS had another seizure - a generalised tonic-clonic, or grand-mal seizure that was 12 minutes long- on 15th March it was about 4am so he had the day off school and we had a bath and a nap - he has never been a good sleeper, hardly ever napped as a baby and Friday was lovely watching him sleeping peacefully. I was able to not fret about the future, DS's epilepsy, what will happen to him when I die, if he will ever write his name, if he will be able to get a job to support himself...the list is endless, because I was concentrating on the beauty of watching him sleep. So in the spirit of remaining joyous I am steeling an idea I found here I am going to record, so I can remember, all the things that make me happy.

So far I have:

flowers I brought for DS when Leeds NHS Teaching Hospitals admitted liability in full for causing his brain damage.

impromptu craft for a teacher

a plane cake for DS's birthday: I asked him what kind of cake he would like; lemon; chocolate; plain. He got so excited at 'plain' and stuck his arms out like a plane so I make a plain plane cake. Bless his sweetness.

silly faces.